Saturday, June 23, 2018

How KFC Taught Me About Life!

 Hey guys!

You see how there's always a friend that just needs to be in a relationship and would at most have a 6 month break between each relationship? Well that has been me but with jobs. Since the legal age of work - age 11 - if you're wondering I have always had a job. There has not been a period since then where I've been unemployed. Yes 11 year old children can work on the weekends up to 3 hours each day and I know that because I have always wanted to work and been going through websites to see whether I was eligible. That's when I got my first ever job at the age of 11, I was babysitting my close friend at the time's baby brother. I earned £3 an hour and to be honest for a kid that is an amazing salary. 
From then I have had so many mini jobs and so many jobs at once but only one job has taught me life. This one job changed everything about me and the way I viewed life and I am very glad that I did it. 
KFC! Yeah so I worked at KFC during my A Levels which I deeply regretted when I got my A Level results as I struggled to maintain the high grades that I know I am capable of getting but now that I am almost done with uni and look back at it I have no regrets. There was no better time in life for me to work at KFC. I was a cashier and I went in having never eaten anything from KFC, I really knew  nothing about chicken. While working there I picked up a mop for the first time and really learned what it's like to clean. I've cleaned disgusting toilets and I've dealt with cruel customers on the tills.  While working there some of my classmates would come in and I'd hide and feel humiliated. I shouldn't have! I was making money and stood on my own two feet. 

What really impressed me at the job was that no matter how stressful and tiring the job was the people that worked there were the happiest I've ever met.  I reckon I will sit in an office one day where the people there will be earning twice the salary and work half as hard but are just way more miserable. The people there had been working in KFC for many many years and they had such a positive outlook on life. They work hard and earn little compared to other jobs yet they are so happy. 
The job really taught me a lot about humans - I didn't even know customers could be this difficult!
The moment I stood behind the tills wearing a red staff shirt some customers belittled me and spoke to me as if I had no brain. The assumption that I must be uneducated was all over their faces. The truth is, life could happen to any of us! Any of us could be working in KFC or McDonald's no matter how much we've studied. 
So thank you very much KFC for having me because that job really has shaped me to be the way I am. 

Well looks like I go through with the things I say....


Thursday, June 21, 2018

Strict Asian Parents - unlocked!

      c.a. 2000. The great lady that raised my mum, my grandma. Hats off to her because she clearly did something right for my mum's parenting to be this good.

Hey guys!
Parents within the Asian community are different to the typical "white" parents and that is a well established fact. There's plenty of memes out there if you  need to get a gist of what it is like. So I've actually had someone message me asking how my parents allow me to go travelling with friends, do things by myself and to go out to events. I can assure you that my parents are identical to any Asian parents however, I would say over the years especially my mum and me we have met half way. My mum's parenting is 100%. It is based on one main thing - trust. 

The key to a functional relationship with your parents is to prove to them that they can actually trust you to be fine in the big complicated and dangerous world. I've been doing a lot of little things while growing up that proved to my parents that they can trust me to be fine. 
It is small things that add up, I tell my mum everything - literally every detail. While I am at uni I tell her everything that happens, I mention my friends names regularly, she knows most of my close friends. This is not because my mum is overprotective and I have to tell her but because she is like a best friend to me and it's just a habit. This habit however does impact trust in a positive way. Never have I lied to my parents about my whereabouts. When travelling with friends, even to this day I send my friends' numbers over to my mum. Not because she'll check if I'm saying the truth but for security. If anything ever happened to me she'll know for sure where I am and who I'm with and how to contact them. 
I don't hide anything from my mum. Given that this is the Asian community we are talking about there's going to be an aunt showing her typical aunty behaviour and try to jump to conclusions or tells my mum something that she thinks that she doesn't know. Aunties do happen but my mother is never shocked by anything because she's always informed about everything. My mum doesn't have Instagram but I always show her my posts, profile and youtube videos.
She knows where I went or where this aunty may have seen me with a "boy", who's probably my best friend that I've already introduced to my mum.  
Its come to that point in life where I can't even attempt to lie to my mum, I naturally feel the need to tell her everything, she's actually my best friend. Her parenting went the right way - why? I don't make bad decisions or anything sneaky. I wouldn't do anything my mum wouldn't be proud of. Because her trust in me is far too strong to be broken. 

My mum always says, if you're too strict as a parent your child is likely to go behind your back and do far worse things. In the same way, my mum's trust in me has prevented me from ever doing anything too harmful. 

Now moving on to dad, he is the typical traditionally strict Tamil dad. Especially when it comes to clothing. You've got to remember that our parents grew up surrounded by a majority different culture, expectations and surroundings so you can't blame them for having different rules. I sit down with my dad and do politely explain and talk back to him when we face a culture clash. It took much longer and it is a working progress but the point is if I can get my ultra strict dad to understand and agree so can you.  

It's down to you to make your parents "less strict". They will trust you and allow you if you give them reasons to. Soooo kids, teenagers, adults anybody. If you're still dealing with strict and overprotective parents, remember they mean well and it is down to you to gain their trust in you. Don't do anything behind their backs! 


Friday, June 8, 2018

The fear of tanning | Colourism in Asian Cultures

Sun's out legs out! Well for most of the western world only. For others it means carrying an umbrella around and always looking for shadow. When you ask why the response is - "I don't want to tan" Why? "Because I don't like how I look when I'm darker." Is a darker shade of brown not beautiful?

We live in a society where we want to change this colourism. You’ll hear “Dark is beautiful” yet they’ll fear the exact same thing. When the sun comes out “let’s find shade, I don’t want to tan” but why? Because the fear of being dark is still deeply rooted within our cultures. That's taking one step forward and then taking one back again so we aren't actually going anywhere. Yes you do support the melanin embracing movement but saying isn't enough, your actions speak otherwise. 

I'm sorry but I'm not sorry, the sun isn't Satan and I'm not hiding from it. 

The same applies for casteism, we can all say we want to get rid off it, but our actions say otherwise.

Don't get me wrong, worrying about your skin health because too much sun exposure can lead to cancer is totally acceptable. Wearing sun cream even when your skin colour is brown or black is vital.   However, don’t be scared of tanning and becoming darker because ANY colour on you is beautiful! Colour doesn’t define beauty. 


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