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Monday, November 20, 2017

How you know that it’s time for some “YOU” time

Sunday night…almost Monday morning. Cosy and warm in my bed just watching things all day on a OLED Panasonic TV. Sounds good right? I’ve spent my entire weekend just doing nothing but binge watching my favourite tv shows again such as Gossip Girl, Jane the Virgin and Prison Break. It was time for a long overdue break from everything and everyone. It has never taken me this long to realise that all I needed to do was to spend some time by myself. It is so extremely difficult to overlook the minor signs that point toward it especially if you’re a very social person.
So how do you know that you just need some time for yourself?

1)     Frustration
Sometimes you’re just frustrated but there is no apparent reason for this. Nothing in your environment has significantly changed, yet you’re annoyed, stressed out or just not happy. The right word would be frustrated. I recently had a day where I just walked around moaning and nagging saying that I don’t feel quite right. I was looking for the word frustration.
2)     Constant tiredness
No matter how much sleep you’re getting, you’re just not awake.
3)     Not feeling content
Nothing makes you feel fully happy anymore. You feel half-hearted about everything you do.
4)     Easily Annoyed
You have mood swings and always feel on edge.
5)     Zoning Out, fading into your own world
You could be having a one to one conversation with another person yet get distracted by a car that drives past. You struggle to concentrate and constantly zone out to your own trail of thoughts. Your closest people around you will start noticing.
6)     Sudden unhealthy eating habits – binge eating and crazy cravings
7)     Lack of productivity
You have so much to get done yet somehow nothing is getting done at the same pace as you used to.
8)     Lack of sleep
9)     Restless routine
When you’re always surrounded by people and just have a fully packed schedule it will get to you sooner or later. The only way to stay sane is by giving yourself breaks where you are just by yourself.
10)  Other’s issues filling your head
If you’re the friend that always listens to others’ problems and are giving advice it can become difficult. Especially when your own life is getting hectic and other issues are also on your mind. The only way to help the situation is to give yourself a break and just rest.

I have been feeling all of these things lately so if you can relate to more than 2 things on this list, it’s time for you to make sure that you make no plans with anyone next weekend and just do the things you like doing by yourself. Watch a few movies, treat your skin with face masks or just catch up with sleep. Your health goes before anything else, remember that! Happy Monday guys! 


Thursday, August 17, 2017

Results Day: Tips for UCAS Clearing!

Hey guys,

Congratulations to all of you out there who got their results today. Whether you got the results you wanted or not be proud of yourself because you made it to the end of your journey at school. Now, if you didn't get the results you wanted, you may have been rejected from the firm or insurance university. Don't panic! Calm yourself down first, it is NOT the end of the journey for you! If you really want to go to uni you can. Let me tell you that I was a clearing student myself and I didn't get the grades I wanted and thus got rejected from my firm and insurance  university. However, there was clearing and the university I got into from clearing is where I'm really meant to be at. University of Kent. I know this because the University of Kent was one of my 5  Universities that I applied for but I didn't firm or insurance it. I went to an open day at Kent and I didn't like it and rejected it. But look where I am now, I ended up going to Kent and I absolutely LOVE my university experience there. It turns out the day I went to Kent for the open day was during university holidays, that's why it was so empty, it was raining as well. I just got the wrong image when I went. Neither can I imagine what my life would've been like if I went to my firm or insurance university. I do think that I wouldn't have fit in there now. I blossomed in university, my confidence is much higher now, I've never felt happier and more comfortable with myself.

I know some of you are having thoughts like - It's so embarrassing all my friends got into the university they wanted to but I didn't. Or some of your friends got a confirmation email from their university before they even got there but you didn't. You feel stuck. You don't know what you even want to study anymore. You don't know if university is right for you. You don't know if any university is going to take you now.


Just remember, EVERYTHING happens for a reason. I deeply believe this.


Now there's UCAS clearing! I'll explain to your everything about it. On results day universities open up extra positions in courses. In clearing you call up the university, you tell them your grades and they'll have access to your UCAS application as well. If they are pleased with you they will take you.

Clearing lines are extremely busy!! Don't give up and hang on. Call all the various universities you would be interested in. Entry requirements DROP on clearing day! They negotiate with grades as well. They actually aren't too strict.
You CAN apply for more than one course through clearing.

REMEMBER, universities are institutions, businesses - they want to give away their places in their courses! Practically they're selling something to you. Thus don't just go into a really low ranked uni at clearing if you think it's not going to help your future. Only take it if you're fully happy with the university and the course. Don't go there without being too sure! Remember you can always take a year out and then try again.

Now you may have to consider a change in courses. Only take a difference course than you wanted if you truly like it and can imagine yourself studying it intensely for a minimum of 3 years. If you can't imagine yourself doing any other course, check if their is a "foundation year" available for your course. A foundation year is an extra year which is considered as stage 0. It will help you to fill all the gaps you have and at the same time you'll be at university getting used tot he environment. You have a whole year to enjoy as a fresher and when you get to actual year 1 you'll be able to focus fully. If you struggle to stay focused and struggle to get used to a completely new environment, you should possibly consider a foundation year. It is an extra £9000 debt though but it prepares you well for university. It doesn't count toward your final university grades.

DON'T just accept the first university UCAS clearing offer you get to any university through clearing and any course because you're desperate to find a place. They usually give you a minimum of 24 hours to decide if you'd like to accept their offer. I almost did that and almost went to Hull! For me personally that would've been way too far away from home. I'm so glad I didn't rush things.

Please don't think too deeply about what other people will think about you. This is YOUR life. This decision changes everything for you after all, not for them. This shapes YOUR future. Once you get to university, everyone is just happy that they made it there, it doesn't matter HOW you got there. Your journey shapes you as a person. Makes you wiser. So do what's best for YOU!

I wish you all the best. I hope this will help you a little to get a clearer mind. Remember don't make a rushed decision! If you have any questions, I'll be checking my email regularly today I'll help you out!
I'll be posting more university related things over the next few days.


Tuesday, July 18, 2017

Why I unfollowed people on social media after High School!

Morning guys!

Whenever I meet someone from high school, they're surprised, shocked and confused when they realise how much I have changed. Let me picture an image of myself back in 2013 to you guys. I was the quiet one in school. Not the one that nobody knows but the one that hides in their friends' shadow. From reading through my diary I can tell you I was depressed without even realising that I was. I seemed pretty normal to the outside world and I was but there was a lot going on in my brain. In high school, you automatically fall into a group. It's going to stay that way. I was never anybody's top option, when choosing sports teams? Yeah I was the kid who got chosen as one of the last people onto a team.

If you meet me now, you'd describe me as confident, happy, bubbly and motivated. I see the positive in everything now. I wasn't any of those things back in 2013. I didn't just fall over one day and hit my head on a stone and magically became a new person. It was a time consuming process but only because I didn't know what to do to get out of that dark place. I want to make sure that if you are feeling like you could relate to me in the slightest way that you know how to get out of that dark place in your mind.

The first thing I did after leaving high school was - believe it or not this is what helped the most - I unfollowed everyone but my close friends on social media. I kept those who I needed in my life. Don't get me wrong, if I unfollowed you it's not because there is anything wrong with you but it's because I most likely looked at your life on Instagram and envied you. I wanted to be pretty like you, popular like you or to be liked by everyone like you. The moment you stop comparing yourself to others is when you become happy. Back then the number of likes and looking at who liked my pictures mattered so much to me. Right now? Let me tell you that I've turned my Instagram notifications off. I wouldn't even notice if you liked my picture or if you haven't. Those things don't matter to me anymore because I realised there's more to life than that.

Do you know what I have realised now? Those popular kids I looked up to and compared myself to? Their lives were nowhere near perfect, they had problems too. Don't let social media deceive you into anything. If you're still in school and feel the way I used to feel - I promise you it gets so much better!! The real world is amazing. Focus on yourself and do the things you love. The people who didn't speak to me back then, speak to me now, but I no longer need them in my life. Just smile, be nice and just slay!! Don't be like them, don't be the bully.

Stop looking at others! I don't follow any celebrities on social media - only Shay Mitchell. She's perfect aha I do need some sort of inspiration.

My weight loss after high school? Once I stopped comparing I focused on myself, things I wanted for myself. At university I started blogging and vlogging more than ever. I found new friends, I joined a sports team, I embraced myself.

Embrace yourself and you'll get far! I can't even tell you how much doing these things has helped me to be positive and satisfied with myself.

Scroll down for some pictures of me in high school...I'm telling you I'm a different person now it's visible!


Year 11 Yearbook

Final year Prom 2015


Monday, July 17, 2017

Second time lucky: Cost break down for 3 days in Amsterdam

Hello my beautiful readers,

it's been a while but I have been staying very active on other social media for you guys. To quickly update you guys for those of you who don't have me on social media - Another uni year has come to an end, just before it I went with my society committee at uni to a beach trip following that I flew out to Tenerife with my best friend. From there I went to Germany and from Germany I traveled to Amsterdam with my German childhood friend Jenni. Hope that update wasn't too confusing aha?

But if you want visuals to all this check out my youtube channel and you could actually watch my videos from all those adventures. Youtube Channel - UndercoverChick

A few years ago I booked a trip to Amsterdam with my mum as a mother's day git. That day due to my error we missed the coach and we didn't end up going. To this day I felt sad and satisfied but I finally thought it's time attempt going there. Second time luck aye? Oh and btw I'll make it up to my mum I'll take her somewhere else. 

Amsterdam is a beautiful city and if you consider going there I'd say 3-4 days is perfect you don't need to stay longer. However, if you decide to stay longer that's cool too there's plenty to do in the city.

Cost break down: 

Travel and accommodation:
For 2 nights at an airbnb and travel by coach 150 euros!

By coach the earlier you book the cheaper, the same for airbnb. We only booked 2 weeks before. Our airbnb was beautiful! I'd recommend having a look there, cheaper than hotels and I really liked the fact that our hosts were great and gave us advise on where to go. A lot of times they help you out when you book an airbnb so definitely try it! 

I'd say 100 euro is needed. Unlike a beach holiday to Spain food is a little bit on the pricier side of things in Amsterdam. 

Depending on what kind of things you want to do the budget would have to be higher. If you are just going to look around you wouldn't need more money. If you want to shop take at least 200 euros with you, they have some good shops there. For museums I'd allocate 100 euros (maximum). The whole trip cost me 450 euros. Only because I shopped a lot! You don't actually need that much. You could be fine with 300-350 euros. 

I hope this helps! If you have any questions comment below or contact me on Instagram! :) 


Wednesday, May 24, 2017

APPARENTLY Strong Minded, Independent Women are 'Sluts'

Of course in 2017, yes we have got to that stage where we are celebrating female power, independence and success. Don't get me wrong I am not specifically a feminist but for many years 
women have been fighting for equal rights. The dark remnant that remnant being the word "slut" has been lingering around for a while now and for the first time I am starting to get affected by this term. Previously whenever women got angry by females or males calling them sluts I never understood how angry it could make one. 
So when have you started linking the term "independent woman" to the term "slut"? Recently a friend of mine's boyfriend, now ex-boyfriend - called me a "slut" for no reason whatsoever - maybe because I was trying to help my friend and it got to his insecure side of things. I am not the type of person to let words get to me or even feel simply offended by words, however, this triggered immediate anger within me and I am not going to let go of it easily because you don't tell a girl or woman who is working hard towards her goals a "slut" just because she is striving to reach her goals. I was wondering - what made him call me that? Because honestly, I can't think of a single reason that would "qualify" me as a slut. Let's look up the definition of "slut" shall we?
According to Google...
"A woman who has many casual sexual partners"
"A woman with low standards and cleanliness"
I then called up my friend again and asked her - what does he dislike about me so much that he decided to call me that word. He barely even knows me, so what gives this boy the right to just randomly call me that word? She then told me that it was linked to the fact that I blog - that I'm out there as a public figure - people are able to see what I do and where I am and what I wear. Just because males follow me on social media does that instantly mean that I am speaking to any of them or sleeping with any of them? What makes you think that you know everyone inside out. Does that automatically make me a slut? 

EDIT: Just to elaborate this is not to defend myself, because I am not the one to be taking things to heart. Along the way women get a lot of things thrown at them. I'm not the first to write this type of post either and many women keep writing about it again and again. The reason I wrote this in the moment is because I want people to see what goes through a person's head when a word has been thrown at them. The influence it can have on someone. I started my blog as "undercover" chick so that I can come online and write about my feelings in the hope that maybe someone out there can relate to me, not because I want to convey my opinion to you. 

I am open to criticism and you may not agree with me but you can only fix mistakes if you make them and I haven't made any in this case. For those of you who feel have been affected by this kind of experience it's literally just a word, don't let a word put you down or define you. There are so many better and empowering words to describe you. Let your success define you, not your obstacles on the way.

We should all be celebrating each other's successes not shame each other!


Sunday, May 21, 2017

"I want to be like you" Be content, be happy.

Many years ago when I started writing blog posts I wanted to find a space where I could write for people and hopefully they get inspired by it. 

The reason I am writing this blog post is because I want people to realise that you do not have to have everything to be able to do what you want. Many bloggers these days almost represent a lifestyle that is almost impossible to establish unless you are a blogger yourself. The items they own have most likely been gifted to them from companies because this is a great marketing technique. Of course, this is totally acceptable but what is important to me is that this kind of "luxurious" lifestyle shouldn't be the reason why people feel unsatisfied with their own lives. 

One thing I can honestly admit is that I am content with my life. I may not have everything yet I am happy with what I have. Don't get me wrong, being content doesn't mean that I can't strive for more and have goals - which you guys should know by now I of course have! Recently, I received a message from a reader telling me that they look up to me because they wish they had as much money as me to be travel so much and that they'd like to be like me. This is where I thought it's time I make everything clear to you guys.

You don't have to be "rich"  to be able to do what I do and I always try to make this clear but it is important to me that nobody forgets that I am a very average girl who just goes the extra mile to do the things I want to do. It doesn't get handed to me easily no, when I'm not blogging or at uni studying I'm in  Germany working as a waitress. In the summer holidays I will be working throughout to fund my travel costs for 2018.
Don't get me wrong I am very happy that I am an inspiration to someone out there but please don't think I have everything. I find a way to do the things I want to do and work very hard for it. 

Wherever in the world you are, I want you to know that you can aim for anything you want and also achieve anything you want. Don't aim to be like someone else but aim to do something that will bring you true happiness. 


Thursday, May 18, 2017

Meet S.A.M!

Hey guys,

It has been a while since I've introduced an artist, performer, entertainer or just an inspirational person to you guys. I have previously interviewed Make Up Artist - Vithya Visvendra , Dancer - Krrish Siva, Model - Sabby Jey.

While I took a break from introducing artists to you guys I have found lots and lots of new artists on Instagram. It is amazing how much talent you can just find on Instagram by clicking through different artists that support each other as well as the people involved in the production process.

Anyhow on my Instagram search sessions I came across S.A.M.

 Samuel or Sam as most people call him- is a 19 year old musician and student. He currently is in his first year at City University studying Economics. He says he has always been in and around music and started playing piano at about 6 years old alongside violin. 
He's clearly good at what he does but I wanted to find out some more things about him. I've asked him to introduce himself to you guys and followed up with a few interesting questions. 

"I gained the God given ability which I'm truly grateful for, which is to be able to play by ear. (In simple terms it means I can hear a melody or a song and basically work it out on the spot and play it). However rapping I started pretty young which people don't really know about me. In year 4, I was sitting on my table with my two mates Anthony and Ryan, Anthony was writing "bars" on a piece of paper. At the time I listened to rap music and stuff but didn't really understand what that even meant, I can't lie. I saw him doing it, and then was like why not so I went home tried doing it. I still remember my first ever lyrics. Sooo cringe. I used to call myself Fire Kid and do the rap "I spit like thunder I spit like wind cos u know who I am I'm fire kid..." Very basic indeed. However it sparked from there, over the years I guess I grew fonder to music. Many people don't know but I did quite a lot of extra curricular asides music including drama which I was also heavily involved with. 

I started taking it a bit more seriously I'd say from about Year 10. I was always the first to volunteer to rap or perform in assemblies or class shows, always loved to showcase my musical ability etc. I guess coming from Asian stereotypes it is hard to sometimes pursue something that is not classed as "academic." Hence, like a lot of Asian kids I was led in an academic route but I always did music on a side. 

People were always telling me to start up a Youtube channel, so I eventually did at the end of year 11. At first it was piano covers then slowly raps over well known instrumentals. 

I created the concept of calling myself S.A.M- to obviously say my names Sam but also to stand for "Spirit And Music." Thought long and hard about the concept but it made sense, the two things that ultimately always drove me forward in life was my religion (spirit) and music. Religion plays a big part for me, also because mainly through church playing did I become diverse myself and allow understanding of different music. From classical to carnatic (Western to Eastern music).

Despite this until my tune "6 feet under" , "See You" and the tune "Its only You" a Jegz tune which I  featured on - I don't believe I was taking the music on the side thing seriously until I worked on these songs. 

Who inspired you to start releasing your own songs?

Inspiration  to write my own songs- to be honest that is a question I've never properly thought about. I'd like to think it's a lot of personal experiences, problems and situations I've seen or encountered. Good events etc. For example 6 feet under was written over the course of a year while I was in year 12 at sixth form, it characterises all the events that affected me during that time with deeper meanings, the metaphors were meant to symbolise my inability to ever talk about those things to a lot of people in a straight up manner hence I disguised it.
This may sound weird - I love words, the way you can manipulate them, phrase them its just mad. That along with rhythms was mad. 
But yeah, I try to progress as an all round musician, not just an artist or just a rapper or a pianist. 

What were the responses like after you released 'Let's See Why You Came'?
Onto my latest single, "Let's See Why You Came". Honestly I was pleasantly surprised with the extent of the positivity around the song. Loads of people loved it. I receive messages everyday from someone new saying that they play it all the time etc. I went about writing let's see why you came how I write most my songs. There are two times when someone like me writes their lyrics, 1) train journeys  2) when I'm feeling some kind of mad emotion or feeling about something.

What are your plans for your future, in terms of your music career?

For the future- I just want to branch out a bit to create a larger audience and fanbase. Don't get it twisted, love the current support I'm getting however I want to break out of just the Tamil stereotype and allow my music to be heard by everyone and anyone, since my music is applicable to a wide range audience. Definitely more collaborations to be done soon with other artists as long as a lot of solo tunes,  once exams are over and summer hits then things will start happening. 

How did you go about releasing a whole song? Did you just decide to write a song one day and then started looking for people who could help you with it or how exactly did you manage to do it?

For let's see why you came - in all honestly the song was written in a 40 minute train journey into central. However the level to which it was pushed to become a video on a major platform like GRM DAILY was mainly due to Mr Saj. He pushed me to make this song a big vision we got the video done  within two days after me and Saj had a conversation about it. Big up 821 media for the video. Then Saj connected the links to GRM to get them to upload, I can proudly say we didn't pay our way onto the channel. 

Have you experienced any negative responses? How do you deal with it?

Of course being in this particular industry there has always been hate, whether it be for my race, or for some petty reasons. It hurts more when its within a race that usually supports your grind. In any career pathway in life you will experience hate, if it's positive criticism then you should take it on board, if not then you should take it in one ear and out the other. In my opinion- focus on yourself and your craft and work on it. To this day I still sit down to try and perfect flows, to redraft lyrics, work out new melodies etc. Nothing happens overnight. Recently as well I have been getting more into production of my songs as well, it doesn't feel fair on myself playing various instruments and being musical if I don't start producing so definitely going to invest in equipment and start doing that. 

How do you manage with all the workload and exams and promotion? Do you get any help with it?

I am still in uni studying Economics. It is difficult to balance both, without a doubt. Hats off to any other artists doing that. My plan is to keep growing music on the side till the point one day I will either be in a position where I can solely focus on music or go into production and bringing up new artists. However having said this I do push promotion thoroughly by myself, my main platform currently is Instagram. However I am looking to become well known on other social platforms as well but baby steps at the moment. 

Expect lots of new music soon. Just dropped a quick freestyle on my birthday in the middle of exams to demonstrate the grind don't stop. 

Sam is one of my favorite upcoming artists and I can tell that he will keep growing and share more music with us in the future. All the best to him! You guys should check out his music and do let me know what you think.

If you wanna have a look at his work check out his social media handles! 

Twitter: @spiritandmusic
Facebook page:
Soundcloud: S.A.M



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